Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q: How does Gnome Alarm actually protect my gnome?

A: Gnome Alarm uses proprietary Under-Base Micro-Vibration & Lift Telemetry (UB-MVLT) technology. The alarm unit sits directly beneath your garden gnome. The moment an unauthorized hand attempts to lift, tilt, or carry off your sentinel, an ear-splitting 110-decibel alarm triggers immediately, instantly startling intruders and alerting the entire neighborhood.

Q: Can I use Gnome Alarm on other garden decor, like flamingos or stone frogs?

A: While the unit is physically compatible with most lawn ornaments, the internal calibration is specifically optimised for the mass, centre of gravity, and dignity of ceramic and resin gnomes. Deployment on non-gnome items may result in unpredictable sensor sensitivity and is performed entirely at your own risk.

Q: Is the alarm unit waterproof?

A: Gnome Alarm is rated for standard weather events including light rain, dew, and ambient humidity. However, it is not submersed-rated. In the event of extreme weather, flash flooding, or targeted lawn sprinkler sabotage by jealous neighbors, we recommend briefly taking both the alarm and your gnome indoors.

Q: Can I set off the alarm by accident while weeding or mowing?

A: Absolutely. We advise disarming your Gnome Alarm unit using the included physical key prior to performing any lawn maintenance, hedge trimming, or garden grooming near the protected perimeter.

Q: What happens if someone successfully steals my gnome despite the alarm?

A: While our high-decibel deterrence halts over 98% of opportunistic lawn crimes, determined thieves may occasionally succeed. This may result in lost, stolen, damaged, or emotionally distressed gnomes.

Q: If my gnome is stolen, will it hold a grudge against me?

A: Yes. Gnomes possess a deep, silent expectation of total security. Should your sentinel be abducted, Gnomes will display signs of resentment, severe emotional distance, or cold shoulder treatment if it is ever recovered.