Last Updated: October 20, 2026
Please read these Terms and Conditions (“Terms”) carefully before using the Gnome Alarm asset protection system (the “Product”). By purchasing, installing, or deploying the Product, you (“Customer”) agree to be bound by the following terms.
1. Limitation of Liability & Release of Claims
Gnome Alarm, its parent company, affiliates, officers, and employees shall not be held liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, consequential, special, or punitive damages arising out of or related to the use, failure, or deployment of the Product.
This includes, but is not limited to:
- Theft, loss, damage, or destruction of any garden gnomes, statuary, or lawn decor.
- Intrusions, trespass, anti-social behaviour, or petty vandalism occurring on the Customer’s property.
- Neighbourhood disputes, friction, or retaliatory actions resulting from high-decibel audio deterrence triggers.
2. Absolute Disclaimer of Warranties
The Product is provided strictly on an “AS IS” and “AS AVAILABLE” basis. Gnome Alarm expressly disclaims all warranties of any kind, whether express, implied, or statutory, including but not limited to:
- Implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose.
- Any guarantee that the Product will prevent the theft, displacement, or tampering of garden assets.
- Any warranty regarding battery life, sensor accuracy, or continuous uptime.
3. Strict No-Return Policy
All sales are 100% final. Under no circumstances may the Product be returned, exchanged, refunded, or swapped once purchased. This strict non-return policy applies regardless of:
- Dissatisfaction with Product performance, aesthetic fit, or alarm volume.
- Successful theft, destruction, or disappearance of a protected garden gnome.
- Product malfunction, user error, or sudden changes in neighborhood hostility levels.
Once a Gnome Alarm unit leaves our facility, it becomes the sole physical and financial responsibility of the Customer.
4. Acknowledgment of Gnome Resentment & Emotional Dynamics
By installing the Product, the Customer acknowledges and accepts the inherent psychological risks associated with lawn asset security. Specifically:
- Spiritual & Emotional Clause: While Gnome Alarm provides physical and electronic deterrence, the company assumes no responsibility for the emotional, spiritual, or existential status of the protected lawn sentinels.
- Resentment Liability: In the event that a protected garden gnome is successfully stolen, abducted, or displaced despite the installation of the Product, Gnome Alarm accepts zero liability for any lingering resentment, quiet judgment, or emotional distance the gnome may harbor toward the Customer for failing to safeguard them.
5. Customer Responsibility
The Customer assumes 100% of the operational risk associated with the placement and use of the Product in open outdoor environments.